QuesTions?

hi and Assalamualaikum kalian..
wishing you a go0d day and health.. amin..~~
 may i ask you something???

have you ever felt you're being rejected? feel like you've been rejected by the surroundings or the environment itself..(this is not the matter of being rejected by SOMEONE 0r soMEbody but it's to do with the soul and mind.. addess.. complicated!) have you ever felt you're lying to yourself? have you ever been in such situations?
hurm.., takpela kalian.. soalan tu tak wajib pon tuk kalian jawab.. so, you can ignore them..
you can ignore them just like you ignore me.. wa, sob3..
i don't know what's happening to me right now.. i just don't know what's wrong with me.. oh, pity me.. ayein3...
i've promised to myself once! - i've promised that i won't cry, i won't let my tears run off my eyes any more for any reason, for any situation. no matter how or why, i will never cry. that's the deal. 
but, but, but.........
sometimes rase cm i've been cruel to myself. kenape nk tahan2? kenape nk selindung2? kenape?? tak boleh ke kalo biarkan tears tu keluar? menangis sepuas hati yang mahu.. salah ke ayein??
no! it's not the matter of salah atau tak, tp aku rase cm aku KALAh kalo aku tunduk gn mainan JIwa sendiri~~
tapi ayein... sampai biler nak jadi patuung yang takder perasaan cmni?? till when you wanna put the FAKe smiles on your face?? till when ayein?
-----i DON"T KNOW!